Time Flies!

I’m packing to leave for a missionary conference, and I picked up my journal. Read from the last year and a half’s entries…wow, so much has changed! God has worked in great ways all around me and within me even more! I’m humbled by His grace, love, and mercy.

A lot has happened these last two weeks, including a wonderful visit from a very loved person,  an exhausting VBS,  and a runaway ‘cousin.’ So many emotions, thought, conversations and words. Too much to summarize. Yet, I’ve seen God work mightily, and have no doubt He will continue to do so, even in the harder areas (finance and leaving home again). He is ….I have no words to fill the blank, many rush to my mind, yet none adequate to name His truly mind-blowing BEING.

He IS!!

Pedestal

We all have them.

Someone who we look up to and admire. We’ve all looked to the great ones, whoever they may be. Parents, teachers, stars, athletes; the list is long. They are the famous ones in our world, however big or small that may be.

A month ago, I had an interesting conversation with a friend. She was telling me about her attempts to share her faith with a friend who was quite skeptical. His claims against her faith was that she failed at being good just as he did.

My friend and I talked about how the Christian life is a journey to try to be like Christ, even though we know that in this life we will never achieve it. We desire to become like Him, because we admire Him and are grateful for His saving death on the cross for us. We seek to be good and glorify Him out of admiration, not in search of salvation.

Because my friend was a basketball player, we ended up coming up with a comparison.  It ran something like this…

All basketball players want to be like the great Jordan. Good old number 23.  He’s admired by anyone who’s ever played the game and loved it. Players strive to be him. But they can never be Michael Jordon. No one can. There’s only one Michael.

Same with Christ in a way. Christians want to be like Christ and we try to, but its not gonna happen here on earth. We fail, and try again. Our whole life should just be one extended attempt to be like Jesus.

This week, I wrote on the Facebook wall of one of my favorite YouTube stars. She’s been making videos for the last four years, and is a wife, mom, and professional nurse. She is a hilarious comedienne and has quite a following.  She responded to my comments twice, and I was ecstatic! I admire her for what she does, and find myself wanting to be like her in a way.

I wonder how different would our Christianity be if we channeled our desires to be like the fallible human beings around us to being like HIM.

World’s Applause

One of my friends posted a quote from Glee the other day. Now, I’ve never watched Glee before (and don’t plan on it either!!), but I identified with the quote.

“I’m like Tinkerbell, I need applause to live!”

At first glance, it seems very self-centered. And it is.  But a close look reveals that it’s the drive of many individuals whether or not they have become the center of their own worlds.

I’m task-oriented. If I’m not doing something or achieving a goal, I have no drive. If I don’t have a position which gives me “value,” I feel like I have none.

My first semester in college was very difficult. Not only did I not have a “purpose” but it also took me awhile to find my “place”.  I had no job, no position, thus, I felt as if I was of no use to anyone. I soon became the “hall mommy” in my search to be of value to others. It later led me to try out to be an RA and not be successful in achieving the position. Later on, I joined Student Senate, or ASB, and soon became a part of that world. I became the yearbook editor, which gave me some purpose of existence. At least until the book was sent to the printers, and I was done for the year. Later on, it was handed out, although it was repeatedly praised, it was also criticized lots as well. In each situation, I wanted to be something so that others would think better of me. Of course, that wasn’t my train of thought at the time, but I believe it was subconsciously my drive.

In high school, I was the “ever-helpful pastors’ daughter”…constantly working for the praise of others’ it seemed. That’s part of why  starting college was hard. I was used to the applause and appreciation of the whole church. College hit, and I had none.

I wonder if that’s why I freak out about the possibility of getting a B in a class. Why do I strive so hard to get something which will make me feel like I’m worth something? Something for others to praise?

It’s not like I’m being Pharisaical. I’m not trying to earn my way to heaven. I do not rely on my achievements to give me a good standing with God, rather I’m addicted to wanting a good standing with others.  That’s most likely why the thought of someone being upset with me can eat me alive.

I’m glad I don’t have to rely on doing well in life for God to accept me. Goodness, all I have to do is believe that what Christ did on the cross to take my place is enough to bridge the gap between my sinfulness and God’s holiness! How amazing is that? He is ever good.

Now, I just have to make His applause my focus. I need to make His glory the aim, and not mine.