Dying? Tomorrow?

My online classes always make me think. Sometimes more than other classes…Maybe because I actually have time to think about the material! Anyway, the prompt asked us to discuss what our emotions and actions would be like if we knew we were going to die soon. This is what I wrote:

“I would be sort of frightened at first and maybe disappointed that my time on earth was coming to a close. I would be excited too though, too.
I would be so very overjoyed to see Jesus and never be separated from His presence. I would be glad that I would soon no longer have to struggle with sin and pain, too.

Yet, like Jesse mentioned in his post, I would be saddened to leave others behind. I would want to make sure that I cleared up any disagreements an said things that I needed to say. I would also want to make sure that I wrote to and spoke to anyone who I believed needed to hear the gospel. And yes, I’m sure I would have some regrets; we all do.  

I would make sure that I got rid of most of my stuff before I died. I would try to make it easier for my family, since going through stuff after folks pass away can be difficult. Plus, I’m a pack-rat, so it would be a bit of a headache anyway!

I think I’d have a goodbye party for myself, too. Maybe even make up a program for my funeral and get stuff ready. Of course, that might freak folks out…

Thinking about this is a good reminder that any minute God could call me home. It’s best to be responsible now with relationships, possessions, and time. Today really could be my last…you never know.”

Distraction

SO….It takes a lot to make me sit down for an extended period of time. Continuously. Without doing anything else other than homework.

I sit down, work a little..then check my email, then my facebook, then look at people’s stuff, then some new photography business’s pics, then I go back to reading. For about ten minutes.

And it happens over and over. And finally, I’ve got some work done! Goodness, why do I waste so much time being distracted by the world! The internet is especially evil. I should turn off my internet for a bit, maybe that will help me get something done…

I was such a good student in highschool! I really was. I had great study habits…and now they are all gone. College took them away from me! I wonder what else college has done to me..I’m sure I could come up with an extensive list. Hmm, I’ll make one tomorrow.

Anyone else seem to have become more ‘bird-minded’ and distracted because of college? Or maybe it’s not college? What is the source of my loss of concentration? Is it just then internet?

There is a Road

There is a road that leads to questions, there is a road that leads to pain, there is a road which brings waves of sorrow

enveloping like the rain. we all fall, we all cry, but are we crying loud enough?  do we seek what we claim to search?

The heart is deceitful above all things, who am I to trust it? rely on everything before you listen to your heart, before the wind of mental blindness washes over in the guise of love, a guise of lies which falls among the dried up leaves of the morrow.

Seek the higher way, seek His Face. For relying on the human race will hurt and gash and borrow the life from your breath til you can breath no more.

Still, I believe in One who can raise us from the death, from the mire, from the sinful life that our souls try not to desire. He can push us out, push us up, wipe the Dictator’s lies from our eyes.

Believe. And let go. Every day, every moment.

Let Him reign.

I Told You So

Why do we do stupid things?

For years, I’ve been drinking the Mexican tap water (well using it) when I brush my teeth. Mama has always warned me about it. Don’t use the “bug water” to brush your teeth!! But, I did it anyway.

Fool. Haha…Now, I’m sick. That’s what I get for drinking “white man water” for the last two years at college! No…that’s what I get for not obeying mama.

How many times do we do what we know is foolish because we want our own way? How many times does it lead to pain or failure?

Why do we walk into traps when the Lord has so easily given us a way out? Why do we ignore the advice of others selfishly and end up regretting it…

Stubborn independence brings pain, suffering, broken promises, hurt, anger, regret and more. What does it take to say, “yes, You know better than I?”

Connection Break

Today, as I tried and failed to revive a dying Facebook chat session, I was reminded of another kind of break in connections. A friendship connection.

I have made so many friends over the years. Illinois, Pennsylvania, California, and Mexico for the most part are sprinkled with friends, family, and acquaintances.  I want to be on a close friend basis with every single one of them…to be there for them and to know what they are going through.

But I can’t. I rely on broken and repaired connections to get me along the social calendar of life.

I hope heaven is like being best friends with everyone. Knowing everything that is going on in their lives and living alongside like that… No, I don’t think so.

I’ll bet it’s better!!

Cleaning Up

Today, I took apart the family PC keyboard. It was filthy; I can’t remember the last time we cleaned it out.

Dirty, dusty, and just plain old nasty.

Makes me think of lives. My life, your life, and ours. How much hidden dirt and grime do we have hidden in our hearts? We try to function and move on with it, but it only hinders. Like the sticky keys which keep the words from being typed out clean and easy, the secret sins of our lives keep us from living clean and joyful lives. What will it take for you to allow your Maker to enter the recesses of your heart and mind to clear out the darkness which hinders your walk?

Are there people you have not forgiven? Habits you cling to which are stunting to your growth? Sins are sometimes as blatant as the sun in the sky, but other times only the Son of God can uncover them to the Light.

Media Egoism

While egoism has its faults (it’s quite outrageous in many ways!), it’s applicability is a huge support.  Our society gives into our megalomaniac tendencies in so many ways, especially through the media and social networking.

A few years ago, when I first started using Facebook, I definitely began thinking about myself more. I even began to think in “status” mode. Every time I did something, my brain would focus on it as an act by ME. Especially when Facebook statuses could only be Your Name is____.

While I still use Twitter, Facebook, and blog, I realize how they tend to push me to focus more on myself rather than others. Who cares whether I mowed the lawn, think a certain child pop star needs help, or the fact that my history final is going to kill me! Yet, I still put such random self centered statements up for the world to comment on. Companies and organization understand that we have egoistic tendencies and take advantage of them to make money (thus acting in egoism themselves). Even the government takes part by not taxing money we give to charity. The society we live in today makes egoism seem more applicable than ever!

Yet, we must strive to not give in! And  as Christians, we can. By the power of His Spirit, we can focus on God first, others second, and ourselves third.

We must be  the thr33. Let’s do it!

Definition: Me

So, lately I’ve been noticing a common denominator with Facebook profiles.  The definition of self. What you put on FB is your “Face” to the world. The ins’outs of who you are. There are several main definers:

• “Significant Others”
• “My Favorite Sport”
• “My Kids”
• “My Hobby”

…and that’s about it. Their status, profile pic, comments, etc. Their life is that other element. And its sadly and definitely unhealthy.These folks are professing believers of Christ, mind you.

Hmm, I think Christ should be their focus…the love of their life. Every breath they breath should be Christ, not their boyfriend, not the Lakers’ win. I’m not saying I don’t do this as well…we all are guilty. For some its easier than others, depending on their walk and communion with God. I may fail, but there is one thing that I want my life to be defined by.

Christ and Christ alone.

Christ defines me, Christ defines me, Christ defines me, AMEN!

Summer School

Monday! My online ethics class begins. Besides having to do homework, I’m excited. New professor, new format, new concepts (sorta), and new learning. I’m ready.

This may be my favorite way to learn yet. We shall see. Cause honestly, college does nothing for me. I listen, do exactly what profs tell me to, memorize study guides, take tests and try to ace ‘em and then proceed to forget everything I paid 30, 000 for.

Lovely investment…yeah right. Can I just skip all this and get my piece of paper now? *smile

If only ’twere that easy.

Give It Up

Today at cell group, Jose talked about Peter, the miracle of the many fish, throwing the net over to the other side…I really enjoyed the study. It sure got my brain thinking…here are some notes:

Entrega total…Giving it all up

…he had already given up a lot…it was late, he’d given his time, strength, work. And for nothing, there were no fish. Still, Christ asked him to give more, he asked what seemed ridiculous. Yet, what seemed an obedience to an odd command, was humility, giving it all up before Christ. A sign of the Lordship of the Master fisherman over him.

The other side…a simple act. Plain, yet powerful.

I ask myself, have I given all…yet still lack the humility to show that I am truly His, truly Yours, Lord? I pray You show me where I can show your Lordship in my life, to show You are He that rules and reigns in my life. Where can I give more? What more do You ask of me? What to I need to leave behind, what is not of Your desire?

What do I need to give up? Lord, guide me, please? Show me what You ask…