Dying? Tomorrow?

My online classes always make me think. Sometimes more than other classes…Maybe because I actually have time to think about the material! Anyway, the prompt asked us to discuss what our emotions and actions would be like if we knew we were going to die soon. This is what I wrote:

“I would be sort of frightened at first and maybe disappointed that my time on earth was coming to a close. I would be excited too though, too.
I would be so very overjoyed to see Jesus and never be separated from His presence. I would be glad that I would soon no longer have to struggle with sin and pain, too.

Yet, like Jesse mentioned in his post, I would be saddened to leave others behind. I would want to make sure that I cleared up any disagreements an said things that I needed to say. I would also want to make sure that I wrote to and spoke to anyone who I believed needed to hear the gospel. And yes, I’m sure I would have some regrets; we all do.  

I would make sure that I got rid of most of my stuff before I died. I would try to make it easier for my family, since going through stuff after folks pass away can be difficult. Plus, I’m a pack-rat, so it would be a bit of a headache anyway!

I think I’d have a goodbye party for myself, too. Maybe even make up a program for my funeral and get stuff ready. Of course, that might freak folks out…

Thinking about this is a good reminder that any minute God could call me home. It’s best to be responsible now with relationships, possessions, and time. Today really could be my last…you never know.”

Distraction

SO….It takes a lot to make me sit down for an extended period of time. Continuously. Without doing anything else other than homework.

I sit down, work a little..then check my email, then my facebook, then look at people’s stuff, then some new photography business’s pics, then I go back to reading. For about ten minutes.

And it happens over and over. And finally, I’ve got some work done! Goodness, why do I waste so much time being distracted by the world! The internet is especially evil. I should turn off my internet for a bit, maybe that will help me get something done…

I was such a good student in highschool! I really was. I had great study habits…and now they are all gone. College took them away from me! I wonder what else college has done to me..I’m sure I could come up with an extensive list. Hmm, I’ll make one tomorrow.

Anyone else seem to have become more ‘bird-minded’ and distracted because of college? Or maybe it’s not college? What is the source of my loss of concentration? Is it just then internet?

There is a Road

There is a road that leads to questions, there is a road that leads to pain, there is a road which brings waves of sorrow

enveloping like the rain. we all fall, we all cry, but are we crying loud enough?  do we seek what we claim to search?

The heart is deceitful above all things, who am I to trust it? rely on everything before you listen to your heart, before the wind of mental blindness washes over in the guise of love, a guise of lies which falls among the dried up leaves of the morrow.

Seek the higher way, seek His Face. For relying on the human race will hurt and gash and borrow the life from your breath til you can breath no more.

Still, I believe in One who can raise us from the death, from the mire, from the sinful life that our souls try not to desire. He can push us out, push us up, wipe the Dictator’s lies from our eyes.

Believe. And let go. Every day, every moment.

Let Him reign.

Importance

The Importance of drinking

Is vital.

To the Existence of living.

It is crucial.

To breathe in the knowledge

Of Ethereal continuity

Which connects with One.

Fail to drink, to eat,

and die.

Slowly, painfully..

dry and starving,

You cannot make it

Alone.

Your arrogance,

In self-sufficiency,

Makes me weep,

After I die laughing.

Soon you will too.

The Light in the darkness,

Cannot be found by pushing

Blindly. In the Dark.

You have to accept the Dark within

To See the Light above.

Looking to oneself for

Guidance brings gnashing

Of Teeth…tearing of

Hair, clothes, life…

I fail.

You fail.

There is only

One who does not.

His touch is Real,

His breathe Reviving,

His love Redeeming,

His Hand Restoring,

All you have to do,

Is put yours in His.

We’ve Got a Job to Do!

Today, I got to go to a Jr High grad. In Mexico, we have three years of Jr. High and three of High School. A bit more balanced! :) Ha, anyways, there were so many kids there! Each one in their own world with their own thoughts. It boggles my mind how many are living lives away and apart from Christ! The glorious wonders they miss out in living apart from God! It breaks me heart, yet challenges me as well. All of these need Christ. And so many more! What is a life if it is not devoted to bringing more souls to know this grand and magnificent One I call Lord and Savior!! I’d rather die a million deaths than live without HIM as KING of me.

I Told You So

Why do we do stupid things?

For years, I’ve been drinking the Mexican tap water (well using it) when I brush my teeth. Mama has always warned me about it. Don’t use the “bug water” to brush your teeth!! But, I did it anyway.

Fool. Haha…Now, I’m sick. That’s what I get for drinking “white man water” for the last two years at college! No…that’s what I get for not obeying mama.

How many times do we do what we know is foolish because we want our own way? How many times does it lead to pain or failure?

Why do we walk into traps when the Lord has so easily given us a way out? Why do we ignore the advice of others selfishly and end up regretting it…

Stubborn independence brings pain, suffering, broken promises, hurt, anger, regret and more. What does it take to say, “yes, You know better than I?”

Demands of the Self

How many times do we want our way and want it now? Countless times. Like my dog. I was eating cheddar cheese, and she comes up and give me that “I want some, NOW” look. Yeah, not attractive.

I’ll bet we look like that to God when we demand answers and provision of Him. Eeesh, if I look like my German Shepherd does when she is demanding I give her something…then I’m embarrassed.

And the picture to the right is too cute. But you get the idea.

~Lord, help me to not ever demand of You. Keep me always thankful and in awe of You! ~

Cleaning Up

Today, I took apart the family PC keyboard. It was filthy; I can’t remember the last time we cleaned it out.

Dirty, dusty, and just plain old nasty.

Makes me think of lives. My life, your life, and ours. How much hidden dirt and grime do we have hidden in our hearts? We try to function and move on with it, but it only hinders. Like the sticky keys which keep the words from being typed out clean and easy, the secret sins of our lives keep us from living clean and joyful lives. What will it take for you to allow your Maker to enter the recesses of your heart and mind to clear out the darkness which hinders your walk?

Are there people you have not forgiven? Habits you cling to which are stunting to your growth? Sins are sometimes as blatant as the sun in the sky, but other times only the Son of God can uncover them to the Light.

Media Egoism

While egoism has its faults (it’s quite outrageous in many ways!), it’s applicability is a huge support.  Our society gives into our megalomaniac tendencies in so many ways, especially through the media and social networking.

A few years ago, when I first started using Facebook, I definitely began thinking about myself more. I even began to think in “status” mode. Every time I did something, my brain would focus on it as an act by ME. Especially when Facebook statuses could only be Your Name is____.

While I still use Twitter, Facebook, and blog, I realize how they tend to push me to focus more on myself rather than others. Who cares whether I mowed the lawn, think a certain child pop star needs help, or the fact that my history final is going to kill me! Yet, I still put such random self centered statements up for the world to comment on. Companies and organization understand that we have egoistic tendencies and take advantage of them to make money (thus acting in egoism themselves). Even the government takes part by not taxing money we give to charity. The society we live in today makes egoism seem more applicable than ever!

Yet, we must strive to not give in! And  as Christians, we can. By the power of His Spirit, we can focus on God first, others second, and ourselves third.

We must be  the thr33. Let’s do it!

Question?

Is not your soul more important than your body? If it is wrong to hurt the body how much more the soul? If it is socially accepted that cutting, anorexia, bulimia, and other self abuse practices are wrong…then why is it OK to break hearts, dash hopes, throw around the emotions of others and worse?

Why do people believe it is OK to go from relationship to relationship heading straight for the rocks of emotional abuse?

Why do we encourage our children to find “the one” via a path of pain and destruction? I really want to know…